Mickey's Mission                                                                                                    back to Articles page
By: Lina Das
Night&Day Live (UK)
July 02, 06'

Mickey Rourke once cut off his own finger, hates women who have plastic surgery and loves dogs more than human beings - no wonder he was so desperate to play the sadistic Darrius Sayle in Stormbreaker, says Lina Das.

The star of 91/2 Weeks, Angel Heart, and Barfly. Mickey Rourke is the epitome of the star who had it all and then promptly lost it. A reputation as a hellraiser and bad career choices – he turned down roles in hits such as Platoon, Rain Man and Pulp Fiction, but accepted flops such as Wild Orchid and Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man – saw him turn his back on acting to resume his childhood passion, boxing.

Four years as a prizefighter left his face a mess, his health shaky, his finances rocky and a return to acting nigh on impossible, as the former golden boy found all of Hollywood’s doors closed to him. But after almost a decade in obscurity, the 49 year old has clawed his way back into the limelight with roles in films such as Sin City and Once Upon A Time Mexico. Married twice, first to Debra Feuer and most famously to model and actress Carre Otis, he is now single and living in New York.

‘I love my dogs more than most beings. When my second wife left me, I didn’t want to find another woman just for the sake of it – a plaster to cover up my wound – so I bought a dog instead. I have five now – Loki, Jaws, Ruby Baby, La Negra and Bella Loca. Loki is my number one. When I was filming Stormbreaker in England, I had to have her flown over because I missed her so much. I had to get her from New York to Paris and Paris to England, and also pay for someone to come with her. The whole thing cost about 3,000 pounds. When I found Bella Loca in Texas, she had a nail in her head from some debris flying around from a tornado. No one wanted her, so I took her in. I guess I feel more comfortable with my dogs than with most people. They’re really like children to me. I’ve lost about four or five of them over the past few years and it’s been brutal, Loki’s father was a dog called Bo Jack, and when I lost him I had to talk to a priest about it, I was so distraught. He told me that I’d be with him again one day and I kept going to him, ‘Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

I only drink after midnight and on weekends. My father drank himself to death at the age 49, so I guess that probably has something to do with it. My father left home when I was six years old and I didn’t meet up with him again for more than 20 years. It’s no picnic to go up to your father and say, ‘Where the hell have you been for the past 25 years?’ He wasn’t that enthusiastic about meeting me, but I was never angry with him about leaving. I’d say I probably put him up on a pedestal and made him out to be much more of a man in my head than he was in reality. It’s hard to actually say it, but he probably was a bit of a disappointment to me. But hey, I wouldn’t have been able to live with my mother either. He only lived another year after that meeting, so I wasn’t ever able to see him again.

I’m very particular about the women I’m with....up until midnight. It’s amazing how alcohol can make a woman seem more attractive than she really is. I’ve been with a lot of women, but who’s counting? Saying that, it’s nothing I’m proud of. I don’t know why I do it, but it’s a physical need I have, and sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s not that great. Sometimes, afterwards, I just want to blow my brains out because you bump into the same old people everywhere you go – blonde girls with bad lips and fake boobs – and who really wants to spend time talking to that? I’m not looking for a deep relationship and you can’t go looking for something like that anyway – it just happens and you know it immediately. And I do know you’re not going to meet that person at a nightclub.

There are probably more idiots in Hollywood than anywhere else, but I’ve realized that you get them everywhere. I once said acting wasn't really a man’s job, but I said that when my head was way up my own backside. Both acting and boxing are pretty tough worlds to live in, and I admit I still miss boxing. I did a lot of damage to my face and had my nose smashed five times and my cheekbone once. With the nose surgery, they just couldn’t seem to get it right. I remember one time after I’d had an operation on my nose I was stupid enough to invite a girl over to my house. I had bandages all over my face, and every time I tried to kiss her the pain was excruciating. After about 45 minutes of effort I said ‘Maybe you should just come back in a couple of weeks.’

Carre and I both p****d our relationship up the wall. We were kind of two lost souls who met each other and that was our connection. It was a real thunder-and-lightning thing, and even though I’d love another relationship like that, they don’t exactly grow on trees. I’d want a relationship better than the one we had, and how many times does that happens? It’s sad that it ended and I regret it. We were both broken people, but sometimes you just can’t put the pieces back together again. I still love her and I think she still loves me too, although I don’t think she’s in love with me. But now, I’m not sitting around and waiting for her anymore.

I cut my little finger off because I thought I didn’t want it. I was so angry about something and so I decided I didn’t need the end of the little finger on my left hand. I didn’t cut it off completely – it was still hanging on by a tendon – and an English friend, Gary, carefully carried the end of it as we went to the hospital to try and rectify the situation. It took the surgeon eight hours to sew it back on . I still can’t bend it properly.

I used to be an altar boy, but it only lasted a day. The teacher who was training us quit because we were such hard work. I was only ten at the time. I haven’t been to confession for about 5 years now, but when I did, I used to see my friend, Father Peter, in New York. We’d go down to his cellar, have a glass of wine and smoke a few cigarettes, and I’d confess my sins. They were usually to do with anger, like if someone had got in my way and I’d thought to myself, ‘Move out of my way, you fat cow!’ or stuff to do with women. Apart from the sex bit, I’d say I was a good Catholic.

When I get sent a script, I only read my part. What’s the point of reading everyone else’s? If I’m talking to you now, I have no idea what you’re going to say, so why anticipate it in a script ? It’s what helps keep my performances more organic, I think. I’m really lazy. Stormbreaker was just a fun thing to do, and playing [the baddie] Darrius wasn’t exactly something I needed to do research on.

I’d love to have kids, but I don’t want to repeat the cycle of abuse my parents started. I never knew my father and I’d hate to repeat that kind of cycle with my own children, because I’d always want to be there for them no matter what. My early life was a complete nightmare. My father left home and my mother then married a guy who never liked my brother Joe and me. I won’t talk about my stepfather, but to say we weren’t close is an understatement, and his being there destroyed everything for us. You end up repeating the patterns you grew up with so why would I want to inflict that on my own children. I would have had kids with Carre, but our relationship, broke up because of faults on both sides, and if I had children now I’d only want them if I was in a special relationship like that. If I ever do have children, there would be lots of issues of my childhood I’d want to address. In any case, I have my dogs and they’re like my children.

My mother couldn’t have messed things up more if she’d tried. Everyone wants to say they’ve got the best mum in the world, but sometimes it’s just not possible. My mum’s mum is 98 and a great lady who I’m close to and who saved my life when things were really dark. And she was smart. My own mother was a weak woman who didn’t protect me and Joe, and although I love her, I don’t like her. I didn’t realize how angry I was with her until I was in my thirties. I’m still trying not to be angry with her. I’d say I probably give more consideration to my dogs than I do to her.

I can’t believe I’m turning 50 this year, as I never thought I’d make it to 20. I’ve had a hard and painful life, but at least I’ve been lucky enough to get a second shot at things, so I’m not going to cry about it. Getting old is no picnic, though, let me tell you. People say that living is beautiful thing, but it’s not – it’s tough. I’m going to visit a friend of mine who’s 39 and he has cancer and it’s really painful to see him. You question everything about life when you see things like that.

I held my brother in my arms as he died of cancer. He’d fought cancer ever since he was 17 and he was in pain his entire life, and even though he was offered drugs to help keep him alive longer, he didn’t take them, as he didn’t want the quality of his life to deteriorate. There was nothing like holding my brother and looking at him until I watched his eyes go out. It was both the most upsetting and the most moving moment of my life. When he died [two years ago], I questioned my faith in God. I’d always believed He could intervene and stop him from dying, and He didn’t, it really shook me.

Joe and I had been so close. After our mum remarried, we moved to Liberty City in Miami, which was a pretty wild and violent place in the mid-Seventies, and from then on, it was up to me to look after Joe and protect him and take responsibility for him. People call me wild, but I was into sports and so that saved me in a way, but because Joe wasn’t so into it, he got sucked into drugs and crime that was rampant in the area. Keeping him out of that was a constant process.

We had nothing but each other, and even though he was in a lot of pain at the end, he was hanging on because he wanted to know that I was going to be OK. I told him I loved him and that I was going to be all right, and that it was OK if he had to go now because I was going to meet him later on. I light a candle for him everyday and will do it the rest of my life.

I used to own 13 motorcycles, but I sold them when I ran out of money. I couldn’t get work for about eight or nine years, so I’d sell a bike to get an extra 20,000 pounds or so to live on. All I have now are a Harley - Davidson and a Vespa.

I thought I’d be in therapy for six months, but nine years later, I’m still at it. I thought I’d only need a short time to change, but here I am still going once a week. When I lost my career, my wife, my house, I used to go up to three times a week for five years, because I had nothing else to do, but I wouldn’t say I had an addictive personality.

It’s taken me about 40 years, but I finally know what it is to be a man. I grew up in a neighbourhood where everyone was territorial and where people would always be getting into fights, and for a long time I believed that kind of macho behaviour was a strength when it was really a weakness. I was just as tough as the boys around me and that whole macho thing was embedded in me, but I needed it to survive my upbringing, and if I didn’t I’d still be in Miami doing God knows what with my life. I brought that anger and machismo to the table in Hollywood, and needless to say, it didn’t work there. People became afraid of me and all the doors eventually closed. I boxed as a kid and took it up again in my mid-thirties when I stopped acting, but I had to give it up when I failed the reflex test, the memory test, everything. The only thing that troubles me now is my equilibrium when I’m tired or drunk. I hated giving up boxing, although I thought I’d be able to get back into acting afterwards. As it turned out the doors stayed shut. But I’ve worked my way back slowly, and I’m trying not to be as vengeful as I was.

Did my parents let me down? I'm not sure I'd ever say that in a sentence. But then maybe all the events in my life have been about putting that whole thought into a sentence.'

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