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Mickey's
Mission
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By: Lina Das
Night&Day Live
(UK)
July 02, 06'
Mickey Rourke
once cut off his
own finger,
hates women who
have plastic
surgery and
loves dogs more
than human
beings - no
wonder he was so
desperate to
play the
sadistic Darrius
Sayle in
Stormbreaker,
says Lina Das.
The star of
91/2 Weeks,
Angel Heart,
and Barfly.
Mickey Rourke is
the epitome of
the star who had
it all and then
promptly lost
it. A reputation
as a hellraiser
and bad career
choices – he
turned down
roles in hits
such as
Platoon, Rain
Man and
Pulp Fiction,
but accepted
flops such as
Wild Orchid
and Harley
Davidson And The
Marlboro Man
– saw him turn
his back on
acting to resume
his childhood
passion, boxing.
Four years as a
prizefighter
left his face a
mess, his health
shaky, his
finances rocky
and a return to
acting nigh on
impossible, as
the former
golden boy found
all of
Hollywood’s
doors closed to
him. But after
almost a decade
in obscurity,
the 49 year old
has clawed his
way back into
the limelight
with roles in
films such as
Sin City and
Once Upon A Time
Mexico. Married
twice, first to
Debra Feuer and
most famously to
model and
actress Carre
Otis, he is now
single and
living in New
York.
‘I love my
dogs more than
most beings.
When my second
wife left me, I
didn’t want to
find another
woman just for
the sake of it –
a plaster to
cover up my
wound – so I
bought a dog
instead. I have
five now – Loki,
Jaws, Ruby Baby,
La Negra and
Bella Loca. Loki
is my number
one. When I was
filming
Stormbreaker
in England, I
had to have her
flown over
because I missed
her so much. I
had to get her
from New York to
Paris and Paris
to England, and
also pay for
someone to come
with her. The
whole thing cost
about 3,000
pounds. When I
found Bella Loca
in Texas, she
had a nail in
her head from
some debris
flying around
from a tornado.
No one wanted
her, so I took
her in. I guess
I feel more
comfortable with
my dogs than
with most
people. They’re
really like
children to me.
I’ve lost about
four or five of
them over the
past few years
and it’s been
brutal, Loki’s
father was a dog
called Bo Jack,
and when I lost
him I had to
talk to a priest
about it, I was
so distraught.
He told me that
I’d be with him
again one day
and I kept going
to him, ‘Are you
sure? Are you
sure? Are you
sure?
I only drink
after midnight
and on weekends.
My father drank
himself to death
at the age 49,
so I guess that
probably has
something to do
with it. My
father left home
when I was six
years old and I
didn’t meet up
with him again
for more than 20
years. It’s no
picnic to go up
to your father
and say, ‘Where
the hell have
you been for the
past 25 years?’
He wasn’t that
enthusiastic
about meeting
me, but I was
never angry with
him about
leaving. I’d say
I probably put
him up on a
pedestal and
made him out to
be much more of
a man in my head
than he was in
reality. It’s
hard to actually
say it, but he
probably was a
bit of a
disappointment
to me. But hey,
I wouldn’t have
been able to
live with my
mother either.
He only lived
another year
after that
meeting, so I
wasn’t ever able
to see him
again.
I’m very
particular about
the women I’m
with....up until
midnight.
It’s amazing how
alcohol can make
a woman seem
more attractive
than she really
is. I’ve been
with a lot of
women, but who’s
counting? Saying
that, it’s
nothing I’m
proud of. I
don’t know why I
do it, but it’s
a physical need
I have, and
sometimes it’s
great and
sometimes it’s
not that great.
Sometimes,
afterwards, I
just want to
blow my brains
out because you
bump into the
same old people
everywhere you
go – blonde
girls with bad
lips and fake
boobs – and who
really wants to
spend time
talking to that?
I’m not looking
for a deep
relationship and
you can’t go
looking for
something like
that anyway – it
just happens and
you know it
immediately. And
I do know you’re
not going to
meet that person
at a nightclub.
There are
probably more
idiots in
Hollywood than
anywhere else,
but I’ve
realized that
you get them
everywhere.
I once said
acting wasn't
really a man’s
job, but I said
that when my
head was way up
my own backside.
Both acting and
boxing are
pretty tough
worlds to live
in, and I admit
I still miss
boxing. I did a
lot of damage to
my face and had
my nose smashed
five times and
my cheekbone
once. With the
nose surgery,
they just
couldn’t seem to
get it right. I
remember one
time after I’d
had an operation
on my nose I was
stupid enough to
invite a girl
over to my
house. I had
bandages all
over my face,
and every time I
tried to kiss
her the pain was
excruciating.
After about 45
minutes of
effort I said
‘Maybe you
should just come
back in a couple
of weeks.’
Carre and I
both p****d our
relationship up
the wall. We
were kind of two
lost souls who
met each other
and that was our
connection. It
was a real
thunder-and-lightning
thing, and even
though I’d love
another
relationship
like that, they
don’t exactly
grow on trees.
I’d want a
relationship
better than the
one we had, and
how many times
does that
happens? It’s
sad that it
ended and I
regret it. We
were both broken
people, but
sometimes you
just can’t put
the pieces back
together again.
I still love her
and I think she
still loves me
too, although I
don’t think
she’s in love
with me. But
now, I’m not
sitting around
and waiting for
her anymore.
I cut my
little finger
off because I
thought I didn’t
want it. I
was so angry
about something
and so I decided
I didn’t need
the end of the
little finger on
my left hand. I
didn’t cut it
off completely –
it was still
hanging on by a
tendon – and an
English friend,
Gary, carefully
carried the end
of it as we went
to the hospital
to try and
rectify the
situation. It
took the surgeon
eight hours to
sew it back on .
I still can’t
bend it
properly.
I used to be
an altar boy,
but it only
lasted a day.
The teacher
who was training
us quit because
we were such
hard work. I was
only ten at the
time. I haven’t
been to
confession for
about 5 years
now, but when I
did, I used to
see my friend,
Father Peter, in
New York. We’d
go down to his
cellar, have a
glass of wine
and smoke a few
cigarettes, and
I’d confess my
sins. They were
usually to do
with anger, like
if someone had
got in my way
and I’d thought
to myself, ‘Move
out of my way,
you fat cow!’ or
stuff to do with
women. Apart
from the sex
bit, I’d say I
was a good
Catholic.
When I get
sent a script, I
only read my
part. What’s
the point of
reading everyone
else’s? If I’m
talking to you
now, I have no
idea what you’re
going to say, so
why anticipate
it in a script ?
It’s what helps
keep my
performances
more organic, I
think. I’m
really lazy.
Stormbreaker
was just a fun
thing to do, and
playing [the
baddie] Darrius
wasn’t exactly
something I
needed to do
research on.
I’d love to
have kids, but I
don’t want to
repeat the cycle
of abuse my
parents started.
I never knew
my father and
I’d hate to
repeat that kind
of cycle with my
own children,
because I’d
always want to
be there for
them no matter
what. My early
life was a
complete
nightmare. My
father left home
and my mother
then married a
guy who never
liked my brother
Joe and me. I
won’t talk about
my stepfather,
but to say we
weren’t close is
an
understatement,
and his being
there destroyed
everything for
us. You end up
repeating the
patterns you
grew up with so
why would I want
to inflict that
on my own
children. I
would have had
kids with Carre,
but our
relationship, broke
up because of
faults on both
sides, and if I
had children now
I’d only want
them if I was in
a special
relationship
like that. If I
ever do have
children, there
would be lots of
issues of my
childhood I’d
want to address.
In any case, I
have my dogs and
they’re like my
children.
My mother
couldn’t have
messed things up
more if she’d
tried.
Everyone wants
to say they’ve
got the best mum
in the world,
but sometimes
it’s just not
possible. My
mum’s mum is 98
and a great lady
who I’m close to
and who saved my
life when things
were really
dark. And she
was smart. My
own mother was a
weak woman who
didn’t protect
me and Joe, and
although I love
her, I don’t
like her. I
didn’t realize
how angry I was
with her until I
was in my
thirties. I’m
still trying not
to be angry with
her. I’d say I
probably give
more
consideration to
my dogs than I
do to her.
I can’t
believe I’m
turning 50 this
year, as I never
thought I’d make
it to 20.
I’ve had a hard
and painful
life, but at
least I’ve been
lucky enough to
get a second
shot at things,
so I’m not going
to cry about it.
Getting old is
no picnic,
though, let me
tell you. People
say that living
is beautiful
thing, but it’s
not – it’s
tough. I’m going
to visit a
friend of mine
who’s 39 and he
has cancer and
it’s really
painful to see
him. You
question
everything about
life when you
see things like
that.
I held my
brother in my
arms as he died
of cancer.
He’d fought
cancer ever
since he was 17
and he was in
pain his entire
life, and even
though he was
offered drugs to
help keep him
alive longer, he
didn’t take
them, as he
didn’t want the
quality of his
life to
deteriorate.
There was
nothing like
holding my
brother and
looking at him
until I watched
his eyes go out.
It was both the
most upsetting
and the most
moving moment of
my life. When he
died [two years
ago], I
questioned my
faith in God.
I’d always
believed He
could intervene
and stop him
from dying, and
He didn’t, it
really shook me.
Joe and I had
been so close.
After our mum
remarried, we
moved to Liberty
City in Miami,
which was a
pretty wild and
violent place in
the
mid-Seventies,
and from then
on, it was up to
me to look after
Joe and protect
him and take
responsibility
for him. People
call me wild,
but I was into
sports and so
that saved me in
a way, but
because Joe
wasn’t so into
it, he got
sucked into
drugs and crime
that was rampant
in the area.
Keeping him out
of that was a
constant
process.
We had nothing
but each other,
and even though
he was in a lot
of pain at the
end, he was
hanging on
because he
wanted to know
that I was going
to be OK. I told
him I loved him
and that I was
going to be all
right, and that
it was OK if he
had to go now
because I was
going to meet
him later on. I
light a candle
for him everyday
and will do it
the rest of my
life.
I used to own
13 motorcycles,
but I sold them
when I ran out
of money. I
couldn’t get
work for about
eight or nine
years, so I’d
sell a bike to
get an extra
20,000 pounds or
so to live on.
All I have now
are a Harley -
Davidson and a
Vespa.
I thought I’d
be in therapy
for six months,
but nine years
later, I’m still
at it. I
thought I’d only
need a short
time to change,
but here I am
still going once
a week. When I
lost my career,
my wife, my
house, I used to
go up to three
times a week for
five years,
because I had
nothing else to
do, but I
wouldn’t say I
had an addictive
personality.
It’s taken me
about 40 years,
but I finally
know what it is
to be a man.
I grew up in a
neighbourhood
where everyone
was territorial
and where people
would always be
getting into
fights, and for
a long time I
believed that
kind of macho
behaviour was a
strength when it
was really a
weakness. I was
just as tough as
the boys around
me and that
whole macho
thing was
embedded in me,
but I needed it
to survive my
upbringing, and
if I didn’t I’d
still be in
Miami doing God
knows what with
my life. I
brought that
anger and
machismo to the
table in
Hollywood, and
needless to say,
it didn’t work
there. People
became afraid of
me and all the
doors eventually
closed. I boxed
as a kid and
took it up again
in my
mid-thirties
when I stopped
acting, but I
had to give it
up when I failed
the reflex test,
the memory test,
everything. The
only thing that
troubles me now
is my
equilibrium when
I’m tired or
drunk. I hated
giving up
boxing, although
I thought I’d be
able to get back
into acting
afterwards. As
it turned out
the doors stayed
shut. But I’ve
worked my way
back slowly, and
I’m trying not
to be as
vengeful as I
was.
Did my
parents let me
down? I'm
not sure I'd
ever say that in
a sentence. But
then maybe all
the events in my
life have been
about putting
that whole
thought into a
sentence.' |